According to Howard Markman, Ph. D, Professor of Psychology and, head of the Center for marital and family studies at the University of Denver, “The quality of the couple’s communication before marriage is one of the best predictors of future marital success.” I totally agree with this Prof. Because in every marriage, personal differences between spouses will definitely arise. But have it in your mind that it is not the differences that matter. With respect to communication skill, what matters is how those differences are handled and resolved. And resolving differences correctly demands communication skill which is far more than just having a good vocabulary or language ability. It’s what Dr. Greg Hamlin calls “repair mechanisms.”
Communication skill can be learned in the context of good marriage councelling, but the test of progress involves a couple resolving differences outside of marriage councelling. Communication skill is a total package including things like:
- Sincerity, Motive or Intention
- Non-Linguistic expressions (tone or voice, volume, smiles, laughter, crying, verbal sounds etc)
- Physical expressions (facial expressions, look of the eyes, body language, posture etc)
- Linguistic expressions (what is said, implications, what is not said)
- Honesty
- Self-awareness
- Empathy
- Fairness
- Willingness to accept responsibility appropriate to the situation
